


Lena Luthor vs The World

by KingoftheRejects



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Canon compliant...kinda...I took some creative liberty of course, Don't Take This Too Seriously, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff and Crack, but they're together here and completely happy and in lesbians with each other, i will add characters as they get revealed to keep the surprise factor, mentions of Kara being in relationships other than Lena, this is literally just for my own entertainment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-11-27 06:44:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20944052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingoftheRejects/pseuds/KingoftheRejects
Summary: “For god’s sake, just tell me!” Lena says, tired of all the vagueness.Kara nods reluctantly, “Okay, so, in order for us to continue dating, you'll have to defeat my Seven Evil Exes.”“Excuse me?”“Lena’s right, they're not evil Kara, they're just annoying.” Alex rolls her eyes.“Hey, I’m not the one who gave them their name! They were the ones who came up with it!” Kara says defensively.ORThe Scott Pilgrim vs the World Supercorp AU





	1. So It Begins

**Author's Note:**

> This doesn't follow the exact plot of the movie but there are some similarities. If you haven't watched the movie Scott Pilgrim you can still follow this storyline. There are also mentions of Kara being in past relationships (duh) so if that isn't your cup of tea then this isn't for you. 
> 
> Other than that, I don’t even know what this is, but enjoy!

She should’ve figured that dating Kara wouldn’t be simple.

It’s not like it was _ hard, _ definitely not _ . _ They were best friends for a while before Lena had the actual guts (she was drunk) to finally make a move a few weeks ago. She is Lena Luthor, she shouldn’t be afraid of anything. But the sight of Kara in her tight-fitting shirts that accentuated her arms and muscular torso and don’t get her started on the Supergirl suit. When she found out that the two women were actually one person, Lena’s fantasies increased tenfold.

But yes, the sight of her best friend was enough for Lena to do start doing stupid crazy things.

Like, buy her best friend/crush a company just because she was sad.

Anyway.

So there she was, finally mustering up the courage to walk over to where Kara was ready to say the simple sentence _ “Kara, would you go on a date with me?” _ Simple. Nothing to be afraid of. Except when she stumbled because heels, alcohol and a dimly lit bar was not a good combo.

But since her best friend is a superhero alien Kara easily caught her mid-stumble and she was safe and nestled on Kara’s arms. Kara’s strong, muscular, tight arms.

And then they were making out. Kara pinning her against the wall, her legs wrapped around the blonde’s shapely hips. Lena was pretty sure she hit her head on that stumble and she was having some form of concussion induced hallucination.

But it was real and the next day went on a real date.

That was three weeks ago and she couldn’t be happier. Nothing really changed between them except the lingering looks are now more openly exchanged and Kara was already affectionate to begin with. It’s nice, it’s natural. Of course, there are those occasions where Kara flings herself onto the latest world-destroying villain but Lena learned to trust her girlfriend (_ girlfriend! _) that she’ll be safe.

So yes, dating Kara Danvers is the easiest thing she’s ever done.

She shouldn’t have jinxed it.

They are walking towards Catco after finishing their lunch date. Lena mentally pats her own back for buying this company because that means she can spend time with Kara whenever she wants. It was a good investment.

But then she hears a distant shout coming from the other side of the street.

“Lena Luthor!”

She and Kara both turn to the man across the street; it’s James who they honestly forgot existed. Isn’t he the CEO for Catco when Cat left? Why is Lena more hands-on and present in the company than him? What _does_ he do?

“What is he doing?” Kara asks beside her as if reading her mind. Lena shrugs in reply.

He finally crosses the street and stands in front of them, both hands on his hips trying to imitate Supergirl’s pose but failing miserably. He just looks deranged.

“Mr. Olsen, what seems to be the problem?” Lena asks formally, he _ is _ her employee technically and she wants to stay civil despite his repeated hostility towards her just because of her last name. Even if everyone they mutually know believes in Lena, a fact that she is still thankful for.

“There’s no problem, I’m just here to let you know that I am ready for us to date,” James announced proudly like he finally found the cure for cancer.

“_Excuse me?” _Lena asks disbelievingly, Kara just gaped, like James stripped in front of them and started dancing polka.

“Yes! I have seen your longing glances at me and remember that Moment ™ we shared at the office party a few months back so I am here to finally accept that we are meant to be.” He smiles in triumph like he just gave Lena the best gift ever.

Lena and Kara share a loaded look and start laughing hysterically. It continued for a while.

“Oh Mr. Olsen, that’s _rich_. I didn’t know you have some humor under that toxic masculinity of yours.”

“Huh?” James asks, confused. Lena kind of felt bad for him.

“Yes, what you thought was my longing glances to you were actually for Kara.” Lena smiles towards her girlfriend who smiles back bashfully.

“It wasn’t my fault that you were always hovering around her. What _ is _ it that you do all day? I think we have to talk about your contribution to this company after this.”

“Bu—but…you and _ Kara _?” James stutters, disbelief in his eyes. Lena scoffs.

“Yes, we are dating. Now if you have some tirade ready about me being a Luthor again…”

“We are meant to be Lena!” James steps closer to them, Kara instinctively puts herself in front Lena, the air of casual indifference gone, replaced with protectiveness. Lena almost swoons.

“You should leave, James,” Kara says, her voice quiet but serious.

“No! I will prove it to you, Lena, you and I are amazing together, we—“but before he can finish his sentence, Kara throws him towards the sky. He disappears into the clouds.

“Kara!” Lena gasped, eyes wide and staring at her girlfriend. “Did you throw him into the sun?”

Kara snorts, “No! I threw him back to Metropolis, he’ll be fine. Kal would catch him, well except if Kal’s busy…” she trails off, realizing the flaw in her decision but then shrugging after a moment.

“He’ll be fine, I’m sure. I just saved him a three-hour plane ride.”

Lena shakes her head, “You didn’t have to throw the man just because he was spouting craziness.”

“Yeah, but he was spouting craziness to _you,_ plus he was getting too close for comfort.”

They continue walking towards Catco.

“Okay, but no more throwing people into the atmosphere, even if it’s totally hot.” Lena grins and kisses Kara’s cheek. Kara laughs.

“No promises.”

Kal calls a few minutes after they arrive in Lena’s office, confused, asking why he just caught James hurtling towards Metropolis. Kara gives him a convoluted answer and suggests that James should stay there for a while to recuperate and hangs up while giving Lena a smug smile.

“Told you he’d catch him.”

* * *

A few days later they are having a movie night with Alex when Kara’s sister brings up something that leaves Lena confused.

“So did you tell her yet?” Alex asks Kara who paled in response and started choking on air.

Lena frowns, “Tell me what?”

“Nothing! It’s _ nothing _.” Kara replies, her voice unnaturally high, waving her sister off. 

It was definitely something.

“Kara, you have to at least tell her what’s gonna happen, especially now that you guys went public,” Alex says disapprovingly.

“I’m right here you know and I would appreciate if you not talk like I’m not literally sitting beside you.” Lena glares at the short-haired woman who gave her a sheepish grin, quietly apologizing.

“It’s alright. But what is it? Is it the DEO because I already signed their NDA forms or is it the threat of death from numerous villains?”

“The latter, kind of, more or less,” Kara answers a mix of embarrassment and exasperation in her voice.

“What does that mean?” Lena is starting to get worried now. Kara hurriedly reassures her, holding her hand and squeezing it gently.

“It really is nothing, just some annoying thing that even I know is stupid.”

“That’s true. Even I know it’s absurd. But that won’t stop them from coming. And it would be better to let Lena here know what’s gonna happen soon.” Alex remarked, eating her popcorn.

“For god’s sake, just tell me!” Lena says, tired of all the vagueness.

Kara nods, reluctant. “Okay, so, in order for us to continue dating, you'll have to defeat my Seven Evil Exes.”

Silence.

“_ Excuse me _?” 

“Lena’s right, they're not evil Kara, they're just annoying.” Alex rolls her eyes.

“I’m not the one who gave them their name! They were the ones who came up with it!” Kara says defensively.

“Wait—who—_ seven _?” Lena isn’t even aware that Kara had seven exes, she only knew about James and Winn's unrequited crush towards her.

“I _ know _, I should’ve told you when we started dating. But it was just really nice to finally call you my girlfriend and it’s been a few weeks now since we went public so I thought they wouldn't push through with their craziness but now they're flooding my phone with texts and it's getting annoying…” Kara rambled on but Lena is still reeling at the fact that Kara has seven evil exes and she has to defeat them, in what she doesn’t know.

“Wha—huh?” Lena eloquently replies, she had her fair share of weirdness. Her girlfriend is an alien superhero for crying out loud. But this seems to rank as one of the craziest things that Lena encountered in her life.

“You can handle this, it’s not that bad.” Kara tries to reassure her girlfriend who finally started to gain cognition. 

“Not that bad...I have to _ fight _for your affection. From what century are these people? Who even thought of this?” Lena sputters, still in disbelief. 

“The seventh ex,” Kara replies. “And you should do it because we can't date if you don't. Or that’s what they said in their numerous texts."

“That’s a bit presumptuous,” Lena replies, her sanity slowly coming back to her.

“I know right?! Honestly, we can do what we want, I just want them to stop bugging me.” Kara said her puppy dog eyes in full display. Lena sighs, this isn't the first crazy thing she did for Kara (_e.g _the office filled with flowers) the things she would do for this girl. 

“Fine, I will do this and I will prevail. I, Lena Keiran Luthor has been relentlessly followed by adversaries and death, fell off a burning plane _ twice _and lived, dodged bullets and flying projectiles, poisoned, thrown off a building, endured mental and emotional abuse all throughout my childhood and well into my adulthood by my own flesh and blood…”

"_ I think your girlfriend needs a therapist, _" Alex whispers to Kara, both watching Lena monologue.

“...but this is a challenge that I will _ not _turn back on, I have faced bigger and deadlier threats than this. Tell the Seven Evil Exes, consider their challenge accepted and be prepared to face the wrath of a Luthor.” Lena finishes, triumphantly. Kara looks like she’s going to jump her girlfriend’s bones at any moment. Alex rolls her eyes at the two gays in front of her.

**LENA LUTHOR**

**CEO/SCIENTIST/ENGINEER/NERD/USELESS LESBIAN**

**26 YEARS OLD**

**RATING: **Undetermined

“Now, I must get going,” Lena says, standing up and gathering her purse. “I have to start preparing.”

“For work? At 9 pm?” Kara asks confused.

“For _ battle _.” Lena corrects her girlfriend, eyes alight with fierce determination. She power walks out the door, giving Kara one last heated look before she shuts it closed. 

“Wow.” Kara breathes, a bit of drool on the corner of her mouth.

“I think she’ll win,” Alex says, ignoring her sister’s thirst and unpauses the movie. 

“I know she will and she’s definitely the hottest out of everyone I’ve dated. And that speech...she only uses that voice when we…”

“_Okay_! Okay, I get it.” Alex interrupts, one hand ready to throw something to make Kara stop talking. She should really invest in a spray bottle for these two. 

Kara just sighed dreamily. 

* * *

It has been a week since Lena found out about the Seven Evil Exes. She is currently too busy with a breakthrough on the new device she was developing that the whole fight for her life was pushed at the back of her mind. 

“Lena c’mon let's go out for lunch, you’ve been working too hard.” Kara pleads with her girlfriend. Lena sighs but finally relented, she’s honestly too weak to resist the Danvers pout.

“So have any of my exes challenged you to battle yet?” Kara asks as they exited the L-Corp building. 

“Well no, not yet. But come to think of it now would be the perfect time to attack me since I’m busy and distracted.” Lena remarks jokingly, still amused to all of this. Her life is ridiculous. “Why did they even come up with this thing?”

Kara laughs, grabbing Lena’s hand as they walked towards their regular restaurant.

“Honestly, I have no idea. I think they’re trying to make you prove your worth. They’re all very protective and have high standards. Especially the Seventh.” Kara rolls her eyes.

Lena scoffs, “I am absolutely worthy.”

“Oh babe, I know you are,” Kara says smiling sweetly, leaning down to peck her girlfriend’s lips when--

“LENA LUTHOR!” 

“Why do people always yell at me from across the street?” Lena asks, turning towards the voice that’s yelling her name.

And sure enough, there was a man holding a megaphone, waving his arm back and forth to catch her attention. Upon close inspection, Lena recognizes who he was.

“Mon-El? Didn’t you launch him to another universe, never to be seen again?” 

“Well, see, there’s a funny story about that.” Kara starts sheepishly but Mon-El interrupts her, still yelling to his megaphone.

“LENA LUTHOR! IT IS I, MON-EL OF DAXAM, THE FIRST EVIL EX. PREPARE TO DIE.” 

**MON-EL **

**FORMER PRINCE OF DICTATOR PLANET / BLAND WHITE MALE™**

**27 YEARS OLD**

**RATING: **I guess...he has a face? And hair? 

“We can hear you, Mike. You can stop with the megaphone.” Lena tells the man and turns back to Kara, “I completely forgot that you dated him.” 

“Honestly, I forgot too.” 

Mike struts towards them, crossing the street while cars dodge him, almost causing two collisions. People curse him and throw middle fingers, but he steadily ignores it all and finally stands in front of the two women who were looking at him unamused. 

“What on Earth are you wearing?” Lena asks, finally getting a good look at the man’s outfit.

He is wearing a sparkling purple tuxedo, the rays of the afternoon sun bouncing off the sequins and almost blinding Lena and Kara in the process.

“It’s my gameshow outfit!” He replies proudly, arms outstretched. 

“Game...show?” 

“Yes, you are going to be challenged by the League of the Seven Evil Exes in different battles of strength, wit and talent. And I am challenging you to a game of _ Millionaire _.” 

“But...I’m a billionaire?” Lena asks confused.

“It’s a trivia show babe, you just have to answer the questions he would ask.” Kara clarifies. Lena nods in understanding.

“Alright, I’m ready. This’ll be easy.” She grins, confident. She is, after all, a genius.

“Don't be too cocky Lena Luthor, for this is not just a battle of general facts but it is all about, _ Kara _.”

**(VS MODE)**

**(PLAYERS: MON-EL / LENA LUTHOR)]**

**(CHALLENGE: GAME SHOW)**

And with that, they’re suddenly in a huge room, with Lena seated in the middle. A circular table with a monitor in front of her. 

At the audience, seat is Alex, Maggie, and Kara as well as Winn and J’onn. Kara waves her “_Go Lena _” sign enthusiastically. Lena cocks an eyebrow at the new additions. 

“You guys are in this too?”

“I’m as weirded out about this as you are little Luthor. Though, it will be fun to watch you beat all of them. Plus, we made a small wager to make all of this a bit more interesting.” Maggie says with an amused smile.

“I’m just here to supervise so no one can jeopardize national security.” J’onn replies gruffly.

Winn laughs incredulously at his boss, “Really? Because I distinctly remember you betting on Lena beating them by ex number five---_ oof _” He stops as J’onn subtly elbows him. 

“Enough chit-chat.” Mon-El interrupts, shuffling the flashcards in his hand. “Lena, let’s start off with your first question.” 

A dramatic score of music swells from the stereos along with flashing lights. Alex rolls her eyes again. 

“This is probably why you took a week to reach me huh.” Lena deadpans. Mon-El ignores her.

“_ Anyway _, the question; what is Kara Danvers’ Kryptonian name? And here are your choices---” 

“Kara Zor-El,” Lena answers confidently, not even waiting for him to start saying the choices. A buzzer sounds signaling she answered the question correctly, her name on-screen displaying that she won a thousand coins. 

“Bu--but, you have to wait for the choices to appear. That’s how it’s played. I worked so hard for this!” Mon-El whines.

“Hey! I was the one who designed the software for the quiz _ and _the tech set-up!” Winn interjects.

“I don’t need them. Honestly, is this really the best you got?” Lena says, absentmindedly inspecting her manicured nails. 

Mon-El grits his teeth in irritation. “This is just the first question, they get harder as the game progresses, you also get lifelines.”

He then shows the lifelines Lena has, 50-50, phone a friend, and ask the audience. 

“Okay, let’s get to question two. How did Kara reveal herself as Supergirl?”

“She saved the plane that Alex was on. It was Flight 237 to Geneva, Switzerland.” Lena answers quickly, brushing off some lint on her dress. Her name gains two thousand coins. 

“How---” Mon-El starts but Lena cuts her off, “Is this going to take long? I have a meeting in two hours.” 

The audience snickers, Maggie laughing the loudest. Mon-El looks more annoyed. 

“What did she study in college?” 

“A Bachelor of Arts in Marketing at National City University. Kara also worked as a part-time nanny to the Quinton family in the summer of 2009 and spent the next summer doing an internship at the Midvale Newspaper. Afterward, she waitressed at Noonan’s for three years.” Lena replies, not missing a beat. “Duh.”

“Wow.” Alex and Maggie say at the same time. Kara smiles proudly. 

“True or False, her Aunt Astra was killed by her adoptive sister Alex.”

“Hey man, not cool,” Alex shouts, starting to stand up and beat the crap out of him. Maggie holds her arm back. Kara looks down sadly.

Lena shot Mon-El a poisonous look. “Next question.”

“You can demand--” 

“_ Next. Question _.” Lena growled and Mon-El who is an almost invulnerable alien gulped in fear. 

“Yes, you’ve used your newly added Skip, life-line.” Mon-El stutters, the brunette just gives him a cold look.

“Question number five: what is Kara’s secret talent?” The alien gives her a smug look, Lena must not know this, this is something only he and he alone knows.

Suddenly, Lena has this look of panic in her eyes, “I--I think I’ll use a life-line. Call a friend.”

Mon-El grins in triumph and motions for the phone next to Lena. She dials a familiar number.

Alex’s phone starts to ring, which she picks up while looking at the woman, eyebrow cocked, “What’s up?”

“Hey Alex,” Lena says, still looking nervous. “Can you tell Kara that I’m about to win this and destroy this man-boy.”

She then looks straight at Mon-El, all traces of nervousness gone.

“She can eat twenty potstickers, five sticky buns and two large pizzas in one sitting. She knows twelve different languages and can paint. She can also sing and used to be in her high school’s show choir which she got in by singing New York State of Mind in her audition.” 

“What?! I didn't know you can sing, Kara.” Mon-El turns to the blonde, betrayal in his face.

Kara just shrugs, “I stopped competing after high school and now I only sing around people I’m comfortable with.”

“That’s true, she only sings around me, and I guess Lena now.” Alex agrees. 

Lena stands up in triumph. 

_ “Nooooooo! _” Mon-El shouts and then explodes in a thousand coins. There was a silence and then applause from the audience. Kara running to Lena and hugging the brunette, lifting her off the floor.

**(LENA LUTHOR RECEIVES +1000 POINTS, +HEALTH, AND A LEVEL UP. EXCELLENT!)**

**(LENA LUTHOR'S NEW RATING: ** Impressive **)**

“Did Mon-El literally burst into a thousand coins?” Winn asks besides them, eyeing the coins on the floor with concern.

Lena tries to look as concerned but fails. 

“Hey, guys!” 

They all turn and saw Mon-El with normal clothes, brushing his pants down.

“Oh yay, he’s fine,” Lena tries to remark happily but fails. 

“One down, six to go,” Kara whispers in her ear.

Lena smirks confidently, “Piece of cake.”


	2. Lena’s life gets threatened again, as usual

After Lena’s awe-inspiring victory she’s still riding high on her success. But that being said she still has a company to run and she can’t let some menial things like a threat to her life get in the way of her career. However, she sometimes finds herself mildly distracted. 

“Jess, please send these forms to the R&D and tell them that I need their notes before the end of the day,” Lena says not looking up from her laptop.

“Certainly Miss Luthor.” 

Jess hurriedly took the folder on Lena’s desk, she doesn't want to dawdle. Lena is an amazing boss, practically her hero and she wants to impress her always.

“Jess?” Lena calls out her name before she gets to the door.

“Yes, Miss Luthor?” Jess covertly checks the papers she’s holding, thinking she forgot one, then looks back at her boss who was now staring at the far wall, a contemplative look on her face.

“Do you somehow know how to deliver a proper headbutt without getting the risk of a concussion?” Lena asks absently, still staring at the wall pondering.

“...a proper headbutt, Ma’am?” Jess repeats, ever the professional, her expression never wavering. But in her head thinking what chemical did her boss inhale down at the labs.

“Hmm, nevermind, I’ll figure it out. That would be all, Jess.” Lena motions Jess to continue with her duties, going back to the document she was typing.

Jess stands there for a few moments and walks away, working with Miss Luthor is always exciting. 

* * *

“Hey, babe!” Lena is already smiling before she even turns towards the balcony. Her girlfriend hovering near the double doors. Kara is carrying a box of donuts from their favorite bakery.

“Have I mentioned that you’re my favorite?” Lena murmurs, taking the box from Kara, kissing her cheek.

“Once or twice.” Kara jokingly answers, while sitting on the couch. Lena settles down beside her, biting on the donut. 

“Are you going to tell me who the rest of your exes are? Besides Mon-El.” 

“That’s cheating Lena, it’s supposed to be a surprise.” Kara chides her girlfriend, wiping some sugar off her girlfriend’s lips and licking it. “Yum!”

“You know there’s more donuts in the box right? You don’t need to eat it off my face.” Lena teases the blonde. “And, I just want to get a bit of a heads up before they attack me behind my back.”

“They won't do that, they’re annoying but not backstabbers. Plus, you don’t need an upper hand, you’re already amazing. You’ll defeat them no problem.” Kara reassures her.

“I know that,” Lena answers, haughtily. 

“Modest too,” Kara adds, smirking. Confident Lena always brings out certain feelings inside of her, also soft Lena, and smart Lena. Let’s just say most (read: all) of Lena’s sides do things to her. 

Lena notices the heated look in Kara’s eyes and she was about to pounce on her when they were interrupted by the ringing of Kara’s phone, when she looks at her phone she immediately rolls her eyes.

“Who is it?” Lena asked a bit of irritation in her tone for being interrupted.

“It’s for you,” Kara replies, her tone unimpressed. Lena sees a text from an unknown number. 

** _“Hi, Kar! This is Ex Number 2. Me and the others can’t reach Lena’s phone. When we tried, the first phone exploded.” _ ** Lena snorts while Kara looks at her, silently asking for an explanation. 

“My phone number is extremely confidential, darling. If someone breaches it without proper authentication, it gets blocked by a very strong firewall. And when it contains even the smallest threat, which I think it did, well…” Lena gestures to Kara’s phone screen. 

“Why can’t you just block their texts like a normal person?” Kara asks in disbelief. 

“I’m not a normal person,” Lena answers like it’s obvious. Kara rolls her eyes at her girlfriend and continues to read the text with her.

** _“Anyway, we have a message for her, if you can just pass it along that’ll be great: _ ** ** _I HOPE YOU ARE PREPARED TO DIE TOMORROW LENA LUTHOR --- WEAR SOMETHING COMFORTABLE_ ** ** _. Okay, that’s all. Thanks, Kar! xoxo”_ **

“I can’t believe I dated such dorks.” Kara murmurs beside her, also reading the text.

“Why do I have to dress comfortably?” Lena asks.

“So you can be comfortable while fighting for your life,” Kara answers, matter of factly. Lena reluctantly accepts it, that was considerate of them. Usually, when she gets attacked she’s wearing heels and tight dresses. 

“Well then,” Lena stands up, brushing the crumbs off her dress “I have to start preparing my plan of attack.”

“But...I thought you were gonna…” Kara weakly protests. 

Lena cocks an eyebrow knowingly, Kara gulps, swallowing a frustrated whimper. “I was gonna what, darling?”

“Step on me,” Kara whispers under her breath.

“Pardon?”

“Finish the donuts I brought!” Kara says, patting the seat next to her, urging her girlfriend to sit back down. The fact that Lena’s skirt rides up when she’s sitting on the couch, exposing her smooth soft thighs has nothing to do with anything. 

“Fine.” Lena relents, sitting right on her girlfriend’s lap. Kara’s eyes widened.

“Now, what is this about me stepping on you?” She smirks at her girlfriend. 

“ _ Oh, Rao _ .”

* * *

The next day Lena visits the DEO, a routine that she has developed after finding out her girlfriend’s secret. She’s been helping to develop new tech for the secret organization. Kara is walking down the halls with her, happy to have her girlfriend in her second place of work. 

“Hey, Kara. Lena, I see you got to use the DEO suit again.” Alex greets the two, nodding approvingly at Lena’s choice of attire. 

“They did say dress comfortably,” Lena says proudly. She really did like the suit so she’s glad that she has another reason for wearing it. And judging by Kara’s constant staring at her butt, her girlfriend is also a fan. 

“LENA LUTHOR!” A voice roars near the center of the office. Most of the staff jump in surprise, all of them looking at the source of the commotion. The three women also turned to look.

There at the center of the DEO logo looking serious and menacing stands Lucy Lane. 

**LUCY LANE**

**DEO DIRECTOR/ MILITARY MAJOR**

**28 YEARS OLD**

**RATING: ** Tiny badass

“I AM LUCY LANE, KARA’S SECOND EVIL EX.” She announces, most of the staff look stunned by the revelation. J’onn wades past his gaping employees, watching the spectacle.

“Director Lane, did you forget that your…” J’onn coughs, finding the proper word “...relations with Kara was not exactly public knowledge?”

Lucy suddenly stops her tirade, realizing her mistake. She looks sheepishly at Kara who was rubbing her red face in embarrassment. “Whoops, sorry Kar.”

“It’s fine, Luce,” Kara said, still a bit flushed. 

“Wait, I’m confused. You dated Director Lane?” Lena asks, brows furrowed.

“She’ll explain it to you,” Kara replies weakly and Lena turns to Lucy expectantly. Alex just continued to enjoy the spectacle, munching on popcorn one of the gaping employees is holding.

Lucy straightens up again. “Yes! Kara and I met when I was assigned to the DEO and hired as the head of Catco’s legal team. We then became friends around the time James and I broke up.” Kara, Lena, and Lucy shared a brief look of understanding and sympathy.

“Then one day Kara invited me to her apartment and started to monologue about hiding your true self and then she started to unbutton her shirt,” Lucy says, fondly remembering the memory. Forgetting, once again that she was in a room full of people.

Kara facepalms again, along with J’onn. Lena looks a bit jealous. Alex continues to eat her popcorn, stealing it from the random DEO staff.

“I was trying to tell you that I was Supergirl and was about to show you my suit!” Kara explains, voice high with embarrassment.

“I know that now, but at the moment I was too moved and frankly, a little turned on. So I jumped her and next thing I know we were doing it on top of the kitchen island.”

“ _ Okaaayy!! _ Okay! I think that’s  _ enough _ .” Alex stops Lucy’s narrating, a look of disgust on her face, that is too much information about her sister.

Kara is sitting now, trying her best to be swallowed by the floor. J’onn looks stoic as ever but he has this look of terror in his eyes, he wishes he couldn't read minds right now, and Lena? Lena looks like she’s ready to kill someone.

“So you guys dated?” One employee asks. Kara and Lena glares at him, almost melting his face off, literally, since Kara has heat vision. 

“Well no,” Lucy answers, seemingly oblivious to the tension in the room. “We didn’t really date. We just made out a lot and did stuff when the stress got too much.”

Kara is now fully in the fetal position, J’onn is almost there with her. Alex has covered her ears and was yelling,  _ “Stop! _ ” over and over.

“But then I had to transfer to Afghanistan for a year, we had to stop our arrangement and agreed to just be friends and we still are, currently.” Lucy finishes, smiling. 

Kara finally stood up from her prone position on the floor brushing off her clothes. J’onn clears his throat and leaves, walking so fast it’s almost a run. 

“Now, where were we? Oh yeah, Lena Luthor, as Kara’s second ex, I hereby challenge you to a  _ dance battle _ .” Lucy says with a flourish, spreading her arms. Several DEO employees scurried and set up a dance floor complete with a huge boombox. 

“A...dance battle?” Lena repeats, not understanding. Maybe she misheard what Lucy said? Did the Director of a special secret government operation just challenged her to dance?

Judging by Lucy’s warmups on the now made dance floor, she didn't mishear anything. 

“Oh yeah, Lucy is a great dancer. Before she was enlisted in the army she was a professional dancer.” Kara confirmed next to her. Lena raised an unamused eyebrow at her girlfriend. 

“Mhmm, and you know this, how?” She asked, her tone eerily even. 

Kara seems to realize that she was in Trouble™ and hastily explains, “We’re friends! We talked about what we did in college and stuff! Plus, I watched some of her dance tapes!”

Lena stares at her for a few beats before saying, “Alright, I accept your challenge.” her intense never leaving Kara as she addresses Lucy. 

**(VS MODE)**

**(PLAYERS: LUCY LANE / LENA LUTHOR)**

**(CHALLENGE: DANCE BATTLE)**

“Cool, okay standard rules apply,” Lucy says as she gets into position.

“She’s gonna do a dance and you’re gonna one-up it.” Kara clarifies, Lena sighs, boarding school and two master’s degrees didn’t prepare her for this, but she’s Lena so she was confident. Plus, the burning rage that came from the knowledge that another person saw Kara naked fueled her fire. 

And so the first notes of a popular song came from the stereo and Lucy started dancing, her moves deliberate and smooth.

“Are you having a dance battle in the middle of the DEO headquarters?” J’onn came back only to see the state of the lobby. Kara and Alex nods like it's obvious, which it’s kind of is.

Lucy is dancing like a well-oiled machine on the dance floor. How her limbs can look like half liquid in perfect rhythm and still look strong were interesting, to say the least.

Lena never had proper dance training, but when she was in college, she got dragged by her classmates into a couple of clubs and they belligerently shimmied to the music in their drunken stupor. That wasn't as different as this one, right?

Lucy started to do a wide leap, gracefully moving into an elegant twirl and then kicked to the left.

Lena gritted her teeth and did her best to copy Lucy’s steps and adding a split at the end.

“Whoa. I never knew Lena can do that.” Alex said, impressed at the woman’s flexibility.

“I can,” Kara replied dreamily, eyes glazed off at a distance thinking about her girlfriend’s flexibility. Alex made a disgusted face at her sister’s obvious line of thinking. 

Meanwhile, at the dancefloor the battle ranges on.

“That’s nice Lena, but can you do this?” Lucy then started to dance the Single Ladies.

Lena scoffed, “Please, that’s so 2008, can you do  _ this _ .” She then proceeded to dance Hit Me Baby One More Time.

“Are they just dancing to famous dances from the early 2000s?” 

“Yep.”

“Oh boy.”

The two women continue.

“Ha, you think you can  _ dab _ better than I can?  _ Think again _ !” 

“Funny, because I can see you almost weeping at the sight of my  _ dabbing skills!!! _ ”

“Okay, this is getting embarrassing,” Alex said, shoving her now empty bag of popcorn to a passing DEO employee. She then turned off the boombox, immediately making the two women stop their battle of who can do ‘the funky chicken’ better.

“What gives,” Lucy said, looking put out.

“I was just winning that,” Lena added.

“No, none of you are winning, None of us are. We are all suffering.” Alex said, crossing her arms. “Even Kara looks embarrassed for you both and she memorized all of N-Sync’s choreography back in high school.”

They swivel towards the superhero who was now holding an ice pack to her head, how an invulnerable alien needed one they didn’t ask. “I have never seen so much dabbing in my life.” she mutters.

“Now can we just decide who wins via audience vote so we can go on with our lives and forget this travesty ever happened?” Alex said. Both women shrugged in agreement. 

Alex nodded, “Okay, so, all in favor of Lucy.” 

Lucy stares down her employees, her whole five foot two inches looked surprisingly menacing but maybe it’s because she can literally make them unemployed in a blink of an eye. Or maybe she just knows seven ways to kill a person with her thumb alone.

Nonetheless, they all clapped boisterously for her. 

“Ha!” she grinned, triumphant, throwing a smug smile at Lena. The woman pursed her lips in reply. 

“Alright, alright. Who is in favor of Lena?” Alex asked. 

A few seconds passed all of the DEO employees starts to clap. Extremely loudly. 

“ _ What?! How? _ ” Lucy asked, incredulously, she’s sure she intimidated---er, she showed her dance skills better than Lena.

“Hello Miss Luthor, thanks again for paying off my year’s rent.” A passing DEO agent said, she just finished a mission and saw the woman, immediately grasping the chance to thank her. 

Lena tried to cut her off, but it was too late. Her girlfriend, her girlfriend’s sister and Lucy was already staring at her in disbelief. 

“Lena…” Kara started to say, looking halfway amused. 

“Did you bribe the DEO agents, Luthor?” Alex finished, looking back at her coworkers who are suddenly looking very sheepish. 

Lena subtly tucked away her phone, Jess’ name still flashing on the screen, “No.” 

“Lena, not again.” Kara sighed, her girlfriend is sweet but sometimes very out of touch from the normal human world. And that’s saying something for an alien. 

“I know, but I didn’t buy a whole business conglomerate this time!” Lena defends, she left out the tiny detail that Disney was still taking too long to reply to her offer. 

_ Stupid mouse, my girlfriend wants to go to Disney next week!  _

“Riiiight.” Alex replied, not entirely convinced. “Anyway, I think Lena won this round, no matter how shady or under the table it is.” 

Lena scoffed, but Alex dutifully ignored her. 

**(LENA LUTHOR RECEIVES +1000 POINTS, +25 HEALTH, AND A LEVEL UP. FANTASTIC!)**

**(LENA LUTHOR'S NEW RATING: ** Amazing **)**

“No, that’s unfair, I demand a rematch, I---” Lucy was about to continue but she saw J’onn looking at her seriously. 

“Fine, I guess you won, Lena. But be warned that the perils of the challenges have only just begun.” Lucy intoned seriously. 

“Okay,” Lena replied, shrugging. 

Lucy shrugged back, “Cool. See you on game night!” then flounced towards the exits, flanked by some of her agents. 

“You guys give me such a whiplash,” Alex muttered and left as well.

“So,” Lena said, turning towards her girlfriend. 

“So...have I mentioned the Kryptonite training room is free and soundproof? And I think you deserve a reward for winning this round.” Kara remarked, trying and failing to look innocent. 

Lena grinned. 

“Just don’t ever try and dab again.”

“...fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't like this as much but... oh well?


End file.
